Written by Pat Pughe-Parry Pat Pughe-Parry
Last Updated: 26 October 2018 26 October 2018

Pat Pughe-Parry

I am sitting in my office watching the birds eat the bread, cheese and seeds I put out for them as I look back on the past 9 years.

What a roller coaster ride it has been.  For the first time in my life my feet are not itchy and I am at peace with who I am.

It is 9 years since I was diagnosed with ADHD at the age of 51 a condition I had never even heard of.

Having lurched through a dozen plus careers, a failed marriage, constantly moving house, and turbulent work and personal relationships, I am proud to say that I have found my purpose and passion which is to write and inspire others to unlock their potential. 

I now have goals, I have learned how to make decsions, how to be less impulsive (not every idea that whizzes through my brain is a viable business) and how not to give up at the first sign of trouble or difficulty.

I have made peace with my past and have learned to let go of much of my bitterness and anger. I continue to learn to focus on what I can do and not what I can't.

Join me on this journey

My journey started when I hit rock bottom and I took the decision to do the pdfLiving ADDventure® ADHD Coaching Programme created by Dave Pughe-Parry. Yes, I also fell in love, married Dave in 2007 and became his business partner too.

Through Living ADDventure® I have met and helped many other ADDers (those who have ADHD) who decided that they too are tired of living with un-managed ADHD, broken relationships, poor work performance, addictions, money problems etc. In the same way we have worked with non-ADHD spouses, parents and teachers who are tearing their hair out and feeling helpless at not being able to help their spouse, children or learners.

The symptoms of ADHD are common yet we are each impacted differently and each person who undertakes this journey has to find his or her own path.

My aim is to help those who live with or alongside ADHD to live contented and productive lives. We are high maintenance folk but we can reach our potential without losing our natural whackiness and spark.

ADHD Coaching differs from both therapy and other forms of Life, Business and Executive Coaching. There are naturally areas where the different forms of Coaching overlap and it is also therapeutic to get the monsters out of our minds as we learn to take control of our lives.

For those hoping there is a quick fix to managing ADHD I am sorry to disillusion you. The older you are, the more bad habits you have learned, the more you have been hurt, the more you have hurt others, the more you have failed.

You have no doubt also had numerous successes but these are frequently lost in your misery pit of self pity.

To me the process has been like peeling an onion. Layer after layer I learned to expose myself emotionally and intellectually, initially denying that anything could be my fault, then crying buckets about my past mistakes and failures as it seemed like everything was my fault until I was completely drained.

Slowly I started to get perspective about my past and my present and have been able to finally set goals for a future where I am becoming the person I was born to be.

Susan Boyle's beautiful song "Who I Was Born To Be" has resonated with me and here are the words  which have helped inspire me to keep going.

When I was a child
I could see the wind in the trees
And I heard a song in the breeze
It was there, singing out my name

But I am not a girl
I have known the taste of defeat
And I've finally grown to believe
It will all come around again

And so here am I
Open arms and ready to stand
I've got the world in my hands
And it feels like my turn to fly

When I was a child
There were flowers that bloomed in the night
Unafraid to take in the light
Unashamed to have braved the dark

Though I may not know the answers
I can finally say I am free
And if the questions led me here
Then I am who I was born to be
I am who I was born to be

As with anything in life you never the reach the end, perfection is a myth and there is always a new challenge around the corner ready to smack you down just as you start to get comfortable. The trick is to learn to never give up, but to use the experience as a lesson and grow a bit stronger.

This series of articles is not a tell-all pity party but I am not going to sugar coat it either.

These are some of the topics that I will cover in this series, not necessarily in this order.

  • Careers of an un-managed ADDer
  • Managing Expectations of Myself and Others
  • My Diagnosis
  • Learning to listen better
  • Living ADDventure® ADHD Impairments Assessment
  • Tips for non ADHD Partners and Parents
  • Medication - denial and acceptance
  •  Even if I can do anything it doesn't mean I should
  • Family doesn't always accept or understand
  •  Dealing with money - an emotional issue
  • Analysis Paralysis
  •  Our mind speak can destroy us
  • Who Am I, Who Do I Want To Be?
  •  Tactile Issues
  • Learning to make decisions
  •  Letting go of fear
  • Setting Goals
  • Asking questions and not being judgemental
  • Time Management
  • Life is not all about me













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