ÀDHD Basic Treatment Wheel
Treatment Wheel: Focus on Strengths
- Written by: Dave Pughe-Parry
There's Power in This Focus
One of the most common and tragic of the consequences of untreated ADHD is low self-esteem. Despite evidence to the contrary, we believe - passionately and resolutely - that we are useless, worthless, and stupid.
I once had a client who told me there wasn't a single thing she liked about her daughter, despite plenty of evidence to the contrary. Try as I might to convince Mom otherwise, she refused to accept that her child was lovable.
Daughter was, and is, a high achiever in many areas, but she had a few problems like all ADDers.
This creates additional and significant problems for an ADHD Coach and other therapists. The old and tragic adage holds true, if you tell your child they are stupid they will do their best to be stupid.
In managing ADHD, it is vital to focus on strengths, not on the weaknesses of the ADDer. No matter what else you do, you will only be reinforcing the destructive myth that we are useless, stupid, and unworthy.
This negative parenting methodology is not as uncommon as one would think. These parents seem to believe they only have two choices; ‟my child cannot be clever and achieve so badly,” or ‟my child is stupid, that´s why some of their marks are so out of line!”
This is a serious obstacle to successful coaching. There is simply nothing to build on, nothing on which we can launch the family into a successful future.
The opposite is just as true. If you tell someone they are bright and capable, they will believe you. Just don't tell white lies when doing this. If the person is not genius, don't tell them they are. They won't believe you when they fail to live up to your well-meant fiction.
The famous French writer Alexandre Dumas said, "nothing succeeds like success." The more you succeed, the more you are likely to succeed. Succeeding, like winning becomes a habit.
Achieving and succeeding in one area of your life quickly spreads to other areas. Succeeding in managing your time effectively leads to being more productive in all areas of life. Managing your time successfully starts with some success in planning and setting goals.
It is fundamental - and essential - when managing ADHD to arm yourself with positives. Start in the light and then approach the dark to conquer the weaknesses. The light of the future winking at the end of the tunnel becomes very bright when focusing on existing strengths.